08.04.97
by Cailin Brown
July 9, 1997
Today was a good day. Gregg and I sat by the lake and had tea. It was peaceful. I looked at the stars glare on the water. I heard the crickets. We listened to jazz and then listened to our breath.
July 13, 1997
I am so sick of Gregg’s shit. He can’t do a fucking thing around the house. I mean, good Lord. And then has the nerve to come lay up next to me and snore!
July 18, 1997
The kids came home from school. Joey complained about his chem class. Joeanna was high the entire time and thought no one noticed. At this point, I just let her have it.
I made Alfredo pasta. I gave Joeanna some of my shirts to keep her warm. I finally let Joey have the keyboard. Gregg was surprised.
July 21, 1997
Been very busy. Sold most of the shoes. Wrote some letters. I am feeling better about this. Gregg is in a frenzy.
July 25, 1997
Went to church and repented. I cried. I laughed. I hooted. I hollered.
I was hugged. I was given side-eyes. I made too much noise. I cried softly.
I went to church for the first time in three years, and it was amazing. My soul is cleared.
July 30, 1997
- Give Joe the shirts.
- Give Joey the keyboard.
- Sell some clothes.
- Write letters.
- Steaks for me and Gregg.
- Get a burger from Five Guys, sushi, shake from Sonic, chocolate-covered strawberries.
August 2, 1997
I made steaks last night. They were delicious. Gregg enjoyed it.
We went by the lake and smoked cigars.
August 3, 1997
What can I say? I’m scared. I’m happy. This is not some sad thing.
It’s not what you read in the news. My life is my own.
And I choose what to do with it. I love my family. I love Gregg. He knows me.
It’s the power of choice. My choice. What else can I say?
This is my choice. I am happier this way.
– Alice
August 4, 1997
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Cailin Brown is a scholar, educator, and writer currently completing her degree in English at the historic Tuskegee University. A proud AmeriCorps Service Member and Folds of Honor Scholar, Cailin’s work sits at the intersection of rigorous literary analysis and cultural storytelling. Deeply committed to the power of the written word, she is dedicated to advancing the future of transformative education and exploring the narratives that shape our collective understanding.